Parenting with the Pyramid

  The second largest layer of the pyramid is the Husband/Wife Relationship.  This is the relationship that creates the family culture! The power of a unified and loving relationship between two parentings is immeasurable.   However, in the stress of parenting, it can feel overwhelming to make this relationship a priority.  I'd like to offer some simple relationship ideas from The Gottman Institute that will be applicable across all stages of life.   First,  turn towards each other instead of away from each other. Turning towards your spouse means giving bids for connection and responding positively to bids for connection. What is a bid for connection? Any attempt to connect. It could be a playful pat, an invitation to sit next to them, a joke, a question, a smile, or asking for advice.   For example, a wife may ask her husband if he wants a drink while she's getting one for herself. If the husband responds politely in any way, he is re...

The foundation of the Parenting Pyramid is "Personal Way of Being."  This is very similar to one of the six principles of the The National Model Of Parenting Education (NEPEM): Care for Self.   This is how "care for self" can be described: "Care for self includes self-knowledge and management of life demands, as well as developing and using support systems. Parents who have learned to care for themselves effectively are more likely to provide a secure, supportive, and predictable environment for childrearing" (Parenting Education). Let's contrast this with the phrase we often hear: self care. There are certain connotations to the term "self care." You may picture anything from getting a massage, to meditating, to eating ice cream while watching a rom-com.  Some activities that have been labeled "self care" may be helpful in contributing to a parent's care for self, while others definitely don't.   The care for self we are ta...